Information on Safe Migration
We promote the role of women in society,
revealing her personal potential, professionally
assisting in the realization of civil and social rights
revealing her personal potential, professionally
assisting in the realization of civil and social rights
What to do if your child has become a victim of grooming
30.11.2023
The Business Women's Club has prepared a lot of materials on how to prevent sexualized violence against minors. We talked about what to talk to the child about so that he would not fall for the tricks of intruders, and shared tips on safe behavior on the Internet. In today's article, we want to talk about what to do and how to behave to parents if the worst has already happened.
What is sexting and grooming?
Sexting (from English sex and texting) is a correspondence in which messages (text, audio and/or video) and photos of an intimate nature are exchanged. The peculiarity of this phenomenon is that all communication takes place online.
Grooming (from the English groom – to care for, to court, to educate for oneself) is communication between an adult and a child, where an adult sets out to make a minor fall in love with himself in order to sexually exploit him. The groomer tries to become the most important authoritative adult for the child, to capture his unconditional trust and make him feel unique, as if only the attacker himself can understand him.
Grooming is usually a long—term process. The criminal puts a lot of effort into becoming a "friend" for the child, to "instill" in him the necessary qualities, for example, sexual promiscuity. Therefore, sexting is often an integral part of grooming. At the same time, the groomer can wait until the child reaches the age of consent, which clearly shows that such people realize that their actions are criminal, they know how to manipulate and lie.
What should a parent do if their child is a victim of grooming?
Let your child understand that what happened is not his fault. Often, children are afraid to talk about sexualized violence for fear that their parents will not believe them, reject them, or make them guilty. It is very important to tell the child that he is safe now, you trust him and you will not let anyone hurt him anymore.
During a conversation with a child, be sure to try to remain calm and sane. Yes, you are also hurt by what happened, but do not forget that it was not you, but the child who was the victim of a crime, and it is he who needs your support now. It would be wrong if the child ended up having to comfort you instead of the other way around.
Ask the child to tell you the full story of the sexualized violence that happened to him without concealment: how it started, how it developed, find out the details about the rapist. Write down all the facts, read the correspondence with the criminal, take screenshots of all the messages: this is very useful when contacting the police.
After you have collected all the necessary information about the violence committed and the abuser himself, cut off all contact between your child and him. It is important to prevent not only face-to-face meetings, but also the continuation of online communication. Do not lose your vigilance and observe the child's behavior. Groomers are very insidious, so if a criminal has been manipulating a child for a long time, then he may not fully realize the seriousness of what happened and continue to secretly communicate with the rapist.
With all the evidence you have collected, contact the police. The reason for contacting law enforcement agencies is sexual harassment and violence, threats, extortion of money. In addition, it is necessary to seek psychological help: a specialist will be able to assess the damage that violence has caused to the child's psyche and help work through the trauma.
If you have any questions about safe migration and employment, assistance to victims of human trafficking and their relatives, as well as the safety of children online, please use the information posted on our website!
.
You can leave a comment or share your story:
