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assisting in the realization of civil and social rights
How to talk to a child about physical boundaries in order to protect him from violence
23.06.2023
A successful family is one of the most important conditions for a child's safety. That is why, when it comes to preventing crimes against sexual integrity or sexual freedom of minors, first of all they talk about the need for trusting relationships with parents.
It is the parents who should talk to the child about all the dangers that he may face in life. So what exactly do you need to talk to your child about in order to protect them from sexualized violence?
Tell him about the anatomical names of the genitals. Such a conversation will remove the stigma of shame from this topic: the child will understand that the genitals are the same organs as all the others. If an attacker harasses a child, he will be able to clearly and distinctly tell what the criminal was trying to do to him. In addition, pedophiles are very scared off when children know the medical names of organs, because in this case it will not be possible to deceive the child.
Your children should be clearly aware that they can always say "no", even despite the authority of an adult. Explain that the child's body belongs only to him, and no one can touch it without consent. In some places, for example, in the perineum and chest area, the child may be touched by a doctor or parents if necessary. Even in these cases, children need to understand what adults are doing to their bodies and why. If suddenly, after the child says "no", the adult does not back down, tell the child that it is possible to scream loudly and run away.
It is important that children are not afraid to express their disagreement. Encourage your child to make household choices on their own, such as buying a pink or green T-shirt, drinking juice or milk. It is also better to ask the child questions about his physiological needs. For example, it's better not just to put a hat and another sweatshirt on him, but first ask if he's cold. This way, children will learn to better understand what they want, what they feel, and what they don't like.
The same goes for hugs and kisses. Often, when relatives hug and kiss children, they do not think that at least they may not want it, but at most it may be unpleasant for them. If the child himself does not run with hugs to his grandparents, it is better to ask him if everything is fine, if he would mind if he was kissed on the cheek.
Please note: if a child has always been tactile, and then abruptly and for no reason began to refuse hugs with loved ones (or vice versa), this may be an alarming sign. Children who have experienced sexualized violence may withdraw into themselves and become afraid of being touched, and sometimes, on the contrary, begin to show excessive tactility, which was not there before. If a child tells you about the violence committed against him, try to remain calm and not scream, so as not to frighten him with your reaction. Trust your child and let him know that he is in no way to blame for what happened.
You can consult on child safety issues on the hotline, including on the Internet, and, if necessary, find out the contacts of organizations that provide professional assistance to children who have suffered from sexual violence:
8-801 201 5555, for calls on the territory of the Republic of Belarus, from landlines of mobile operators A1, MTC, life :) the call is free.
+375 162 218888, for calls from abroad and on the territory of the Republic of Belarus - payment at long—distance rates.
113, free code-free calls from landlines in the territory of the Republic of Belarus.
If necessary, our staff will give you the numbers of other organizations that can help.
https://kids.pomogut.by / is a joint initiative of the Representative Office of the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) in the Republic of Belarus and the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Republic of Belarus. The project is aimed at preventing and countering the exploitation of children on the Internet.
8-801-100-16-11 – children's telephone line (round the clock, anonymous, free of charge).
Also send questions to the following email address: bpwbrest@mail.ru .
Please provide your name, gender, age, and nationality. The anonymity and confidentiality of your request is guaranteed.
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