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revealing her personal potential, professionally
assisting in the realization of civil and social rights
What to do if your child becomes a victim of grooming
The Businesswomen's Club has prepared a lot of materials on how to prevent sexualized violence against minors. We talked about what to talk about with the child so that he would not fall for the tricks of intruders, and shared tips on safe behavior on the Internet. In today's article, we want to talk about what to do and how to behave to parents if the worst has already happened.
What is sexting and grooming?
Sexting (from English sex and texting) is a correspondence in which messages (text, audio, and/or video) and intimate photos are exchanged. The peculiarity of this phenomenon is that all communication takes place online.
Grooming (from the English groom – to take care of, to court, to educate for oneself) is the communication of an adult and a child, where an adult sets out to make a minor fall in love with himself in order to sexually exploit him. The groomer tries to become the most important authoritative adult for the child, to gain his unconditional trust and make him feel unique, as if only the attacker himself can understand him.
Grooming is usually a long—term process. The criminal puts a lot of effort into becoming a "friend" for the child, to "instill" in him the necessary qualities, for example, sexual promiscuity. Therefore, sexting is often an integral part of grooming. At the same time, the groomer can wait until the child reaches the age of consent, which clearly shows that such people realize that their actions are criminal, they know how to manipulate and lie.
What should a parent do if their child is a victim of grooming?
Let your child understand that what happened is not his fault. Children are often afraid to talk about sexualized violence for fear that their parents will not believe them, reject them, or make them guilty. It's very important to tell your child that he's safe now, that you trust him, and that you won't let anyone hurt him anymore.
During the conversation with the child, be sure to try to remain calm and sane. Yes, you are also hurt by what happened, but do not forget that it was not you, but the child who was the victim of a crime, and it is he who needs your support now. It would be wrong if the child ended up having to comfort you instead of the other way around.
Ask the child to tell you the full story of the sexual abuse that happened to him: how it started, how it developed, and find out the details about the abuser. Write down all the facts, read the correspondence with the criminal, take screenshots of all the messages.: this is very useful when contacting the police.
After you have collected all the necessary information about the violence committed and the abuser himself, cut off all contact between your child and him. It is important to prevent not only face-to-face meetings, but also the continuation of online communication. Do not lose your vigilance and observe the child's behavior. Groomers are very insidious, so if a criminal has been manipulating a child for a long time, then he may not fully realize the seriousness of what happened and continue to secretly communicate with the rapist.
Please contact the police with all the evidence you have collected. The reason for contacting law enforcement agencies is sexual harassment and violence, threats, extortion of money. In addition, it is necessary to seek psychological help: a specialist will be able to assess the damage that violence has caused to the child's psyche and help work through the trauma.
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