Information on Safe Migration
We promote the role of women in society,
revealing her personal potential, professionally
assisting in the realization of civil and social rights
revealing her personal potential, professionally
assisting in the realization of civil and social rights
Marriage can't wait. Or how a Belarusian woman became a hostage in her German husband's house
A true story
Veronika is a journalist from the Minsk School of Journalism, full of ambition and youthful максимализм, she closed the semester well, which means she deserved a good rest. Absolutely free, not burdened by relationships or «tails», she throws everything and goes to Bulgaria with her friends.
She has a great time there, meets new people, among whom was the one she thought: «Why did he come here? Not my type at all». But «not my type» didn't think so. On the contrary. Veronika interested him a lot. The whole evening the group of girls and guys walked around the city, having fun. The girl didn't even attach importance to the new acquaintance. Which can't be said about him. For the next six months, the young man actively sought her attention. As it turned out, he was from Germany. After arriving home, Mark actively wrote to Veronika. At first, she graciously replied, and then she caught herself thinking that she had gotten used to this communication. For New Year's Eve, Mark invited Veronika to visit. And she went.
Tell us about your trip to Germany
— Mark told me a beautiful story that I believed. He introduced himself as a native German, a student from a well-off family, studying to be an architect. He courted me very beautifully. No sooner had I arrived than he took me to meet his parents. They lived on the next street in a big house. Mark himself lived in a studio apartment. To be honest, I didn't quite understand what was going on, and I was constantly haunted by the feeling that I was the heroine of some TV series.
Later, I began to notice something was wrong. When I asked him to teach me German, Mark refused. I was wary of the fact that he didn't want me to understand what he was saying. In addition, Mark had Russian friends, and he was against our communication. He didn't even like that I talked to my friends and mom.
When I asked questions about his studies, work, he would get irritated. I didn't understand where his money came from. Despite the fact that his mom didn't give him money.
I went to see him several times in winter and spring. And then Mark suddenly proposed to me.
The thing is that I went to Germany on Schengen visas. We thought that I needed to get a residence permit. And it was logical to marry Mark. So I didn't think twice and agreed.
Didn't you think that you rushed into the decision to get married?
— Actually, there were more signs not to do it than ever.
A lot of documents had to be collected. They had to be apostilled first, then translated and certified. Something was always getting lost, or the door was closing in front of me, or the embassy was refusing the visa. There were a lot of warning dreams. Even if you don't believe in signs, after all this you will.
Still, we somehow collected these documents. We had to take a turn (queue). And by law, an interpreter had to be with us. We couldn't find him for a long time. We were told that we could take any relative or friend who knows German and Russian. Mark called all the friends he could (everyone refused), except for one. His name was Stas. As a result, with a dissatisfied look, he still called him. And we took him as an interpreter. It was thanks to this friend that I found out everything later.
Were you walking around the city alone?
After the wedding, Mark never let me go alone. But one day I still left the house to take a walk without him. And by some random coincidence, I met Stas in the city. The city was small, so there's nothing surprising about it. And then he says to me: "You probably don't know anything..."
And that's when the most interesting part began. It turned out that Mark is not German, he is not studying to be an architect, he finished 8th grade, lives on unemployment benefits, and his mother is a former prostitute. And the only адеква́тный person in this story is Mark's stepfather, whom I was introduced to at the beginning of the trip to Germany and introduced as the father. And then all the puzzles came together. Finally, everything fell into place in my head.
What were your next steps?
I understood that I would soon leave and not return. When I got home, I didn't give the impression that I understood anything. But when I arrived in Minsk, I wrote to Mark and said that this story had to end. However, he didn't think so. And to the proposal to part ways peacefully, with his actions, he proposed war.Mark created an Instagram account and a group on VK, subscribed to all my friends and even teachers. He said that if I didn't come back to Germany, he would post my intimate photos online.
I got scared and came back to delete the photos. Naturally, I didn't succeed, since copies of these photos were stored on sources unknown to me.
Weren't you afraid to go back knowing the whole truth?
I didn't fully realize what kind of person he was. Somehow, he was able to calm me down at the right moment.
But then the worst began. We argued a lot. He broke my phone, took my passport (later it turned out that he tore it), when he left the house — he closed the door. And he was always nearby. We were walking, I went into the store, and he was smoking outside. Stas happened to be there. I realized that this was my chance to break free and there would be no other moment. I briefly told Stas everything. The guy said that I should take out the trash in the evening, at the time he appointed. Naturally, the plan was that Mark would go with me. And so it was. We went to throw out the trash together. That same evening, Stas gathered friends to scare Mark during our meeting. While they were detaining him, I packed my things and went to the police to get a report about the lost passport, then to the Belarusian embassy, which was in another city. I didn’t file a report with the police against my husband, I understood that it would be even worse.
I returned home safe and sound. Nobody posted my photos anywhere. But for a long time it was difficult for me to recover and at least start to sort out this story. After all, officially the marriage is still intact. And it’s not easy to dissolve it, as it turned out.
Veronica searched the internet for quite some time looking for at least some information, came across the hotline of the Public Association «Club of Business Women» for safe travel and stay abroad and combating human trafficking 8-801-201-5555 and 113, where she was given advice on the divorce process. Many nuances could have been avoided if Veronica had known about the existence of the hotline before leaving. And before deciding on such a serious step as marriage and moving to another country, she consulted with experts on how to do it better and where to turn for help in case of domestic violence.
Calls and written appeals are temporarily not accepted.
- 8-801-201-5555, for calls in the Republic of Belarus, from landline phones of mobile operators A1, MTC, life:) the call is free
- +375162218888, for calls from abroad and in the Republic of Belarus — payment according to long-distance tariffs
- 113, free calls without codes from landline phones in the territory of the Republic of Belarus. Administered by the PA «Club of Business Women» and the IOO «Gender Perspectives»
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