Information on Safe Migration
We promote the role of women in society,
revealing her personal potential, professionally
assisting in the realization of civil and social rights
revealing her personal potential, professionally
assisting in the realization of civil and social rights
How to avoid falling into the clutches of an online pickup artist?
Hundreds of Belarusian girls dream of marrying a foreigner: a wealthy, passionate, handsome man. For example, a Turk. The only question is how to find a real prince from a fairy tale? How not to be disappointed in the ideal image of a foreign macho? Let's look into these issues together with the specialists from the NGO "Club of Business Women".
Baiting.
The easiest way is to meet a foreigner on a dating site. A couple of nice photos and an "actively searching" status are enough, and potential suitors will immediately flood you with messages. "Newcomers" on the site receive mass рассылки of a шаблонный universal text from "internet grooms". Avoid it, as well as extremely настойчивые messages. Poetic SMS, beautiful words about a luxurious but lonely life – the first brick in the construction of an ideal image. Pay attention to the writing style and remember, such pathos is a sign of a manipulator or an unstable personality.
Don't let the information leak.
Before sending a recent virtual acquaintance a revealing photo or telling them about your secret erotic fantasies in detail, ask yourself: "Is it really worth doing?". Forwarding a screenshot of correspondence to those who don't need it is easy. It's even easier to save a photo and post it for everyone to see on the Internet or start blackmailing, demanding new photos. Just realize: there's no reason to think that a person who gives the impression of being decent is actually like that.
Trust, but verify.
If you're being flooded with ardent declarations of love or жалобные messages about how unkind life is for a "lone wolf" without you day and night, most likely you're chatting with a bot or a pervert. Change the subject – show interest in the person's life, work, friends, and family. Don't hesitate to ask for photos. A man who is interested in a relationship will enthusiastically talk about himself and show his life. If he's secretive and you know nothing about his real life – add him to the blacklist. You can arrange a "worthiness" test and tell how hard it is for you: creative crisis, problems at work, your dog is sick... Supports, listens, and gives advice – great! Dodged the topic – a bad sign.
From the get-go.
Any issues related to choosing a bride and, even more so, to a wedding are decided by the entire large family (for example, a Turkish one). Your Turk couldn't resist and showed the photo to his relatives, and the household approved of the choice? And since everything turned out so perfectly, it's time to propose. Doesn't anything alarm you? A couple of days of correspondence, without live communication, and immediately getting married? That's not how things work — suggest a real-life meeting and observe the reaction. If there's a man on the other side of the screen whose goal is marriage, he will demonstrate his reality without any problems: he will invite you over or fly to you. An aloof person will never pay for your tickets and hotel. Difficulties in business and financial troubles will suddenly arise. Excuses will be found for the invitation to come to your homeland as well.
Is it different with your chosen one? You talk for hours on Skype, he's convinced that you're destined for him, and that's why he calls you every day. Isn't this a sign of love at first sight? Moreover, if it's backed up by action — the Turkish interlocutor will offer to arrange a visa, meet you, pay for all expenses. If necessary, he'll find interesting work in some hotel or resort. All this may seem attractive, but don't get carried away too soon! A "friend" in correspondence could turn out to be a trafficker or a pervert. They actively use messaging services to find victims.
Safety first.
So if strong feelings do arise, don't show them, keep yourself under control. Weigh everything and think carefully. Ask to send a photo or scan of the passport, documents, home, and work addresses and phone numbers. Of course, you shouldn't make such demands abruptly. Do it in an understated way, ask for the phone number because you want to hear his voice in the evenings sometimes, and the address is needed so that you can send him a postcard or a birthday gift. If a man is just having fun or hunting for a victim, then after such a request, he will disappear from your life without a trace. He rejected the request but didn't stop writing — break off all contact with the person if you suspect something is wrong. Only when you are 100% sure of the candidate and nothing worries you, agree to meet in person. It wouldn't hurt to inform your relatives and agree to stay in touch at least once a day. Come up with a neutral password word that will let your loved ones know that you're in trouble.
Filter out the "married ones".
Pay attention to the communication time. If a Turk writes during weekdays and work hours, but you don't hear from him on weekends, holidays, or in the evenings, that's a red flag. A man might say he doesn't have internet at home, but most likely, he spends weekends and evenings with his family, which makes it difficult for him to write during those times. A married man will ignore your suggestions to come to him or your invitations for him to come to you. Although he will continue to write about his undying love for you. It's quite strange that a man in love wouldn't want to meet his beloved in person, isn't it?
There are no universal tips on how to recognize an online picker-upper. Rely on your intuition. If a person repels you, even on a subconscious level, don't convince yourself that he's good. As soon as a seed of doubt settles in you or you sense something is wrong, cut off communication with the suspicious type. Of course, you might be wrong, but if safety is at stake, don't tempt fate.
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