Information on Safe Migration
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revealing her personal potential, professionally
assisting in the realization of civil and social rights
Grooming — what is it and how to avoid it
Continuing the series of publications on the safety of children on the Internet, today we will analyze what grooming is and what rules must be followed to minimize the danger.
So, what is grooming?
Grooming (English grooming) – "courting" on the Web. The attacker ingratiates himself with the child in order to further his sexual exploitation. The Internet allows you to establish contact with a child without the knowledge of adults, because children often turn to virtual friends for help, instead of sharing the problem with a real adult (parent, for example).
How does an attacker establish such a contact?
Attackers who hunt for children on the Web most often establish contacts with the victim in chat rooms, by e-mail, or during any discussions on forums. As a rule, they are good manipulators, so they try to attract the child with attention, kindness, and sometimes even gifts.
After contact with the child is established, the villain can begin to convince the child to move to a more private place – it can be a private chat or video communication (Skype). If the child agrees, even more intense "courting" begins. The perpetrator begins to involve the child in the discussion of intimate issues, shows sexual materials, trying to weaken the moral prohibitions that are a deterrent. If the child does not resist such communication and receiving such materials, then the attackers gradually persuade minors to meet in real life. Thus, the child may be involved in the production of pornography.
Sometimes an adult can lure a child to a meeting without using threats or blackmail – grooming can be accompanied by the promise of gifts. All this entails serious psychological harm to the child. It is important to understand that grooming is a rather lengthy process and can be interrupted at any stage, once the attacker feels that he will not be able to achieve his goal. Therefore, it is important to talk to children so that this does not happen.
How to talk to your child to prevent grooming:
1. Explain that you do not need to communicate with strangers not only on the street, but also online.
2. Tell us what to send to someone and publish your personal information (address of residence, phone number, school number, information about parents, login / password of personal pages, photos of an intimate nature); no need to put markers in places where the child lives / studies / often happens; no need to meet with people he knows only by correspondence, without your knowledge;
3. Emphasize that you cannot send your "explicit" photos to anyone, including your friends. Besides the fact that this is extremely personal information, a friend's account can be hacked and used by another person. You can make a comparison with real life – imagine that such actions are like exposing yourself in front of a stranger in real life.;
4. Add your child as a friend on social media. Explain that this is normal, that you want to be able to see who the child is friends with, and are not going to "follow his every move." With the help of special programs (for example, Kaspersky Safe Kids), you can track the list of friends and messages in the child's feed, as well as contacts with whom he communicates by phone and SMS; Pay attention to special browsers for children in which the necessary settings are already set – for example, "Gogul".
5. You must have a trusting relationship with your child so that he can tell you about what is happening to him. Explain that rapists can politely persuade or intimidate children to keep everything a secret.;
6. Regularly ask your child about his online friends. Such acquaintances should remain virtual, while real meetings should preferably take place under the supervision or with the permission of parents.;
7. Log on to the Internet together periodically. Explain (or ask) what and how it works, try to encourage the child to share his impressions, ask for advice.;
8. Register a family email account to prevent the child from having their own addresses. Explain the benefits of this approach.
9. Agree that your child will tell you about all unpleasant situations related to communication on the internet. Say that you will not get angry and forbid them to use the computer.
10. Be a friend to your child, be interested in their hobbies and discuss their problems.
If an unpleasant situation does occur, be sure to save evidence (this could be screenshots of correspondence) and contact the police. You can also seek psychological help:
"Emergency Psychological Assistance Hotline" for children and adolescents: 8-017-246-03-03 in Minsk; national Children's Help Line 8-801-100-1611.
Calls and written appeals are temporarily not accepted.
